Escape Rooms Are No Match for These Four Superstars

I recently went to an escape room, and it was pretty fun, no doubt about it. These escape rooms are not for everyone, though. To quote famed poet Gerald Gilum (also known as G-Eazy), “Never going nowhere unless your team is strong.” You’re going to need a good team to make sure you get out of that room.

If you were hypothetically going to solve an escape room, you’d need a hypothetically good team. However, what if that hypothetical team was to be made up of wrestlers? You’d need to pick a team of good wrestlers, then. Here are four in particular who could help you solve the challenges.

Jinder Mahal

Yes, I would put Jinder “Modern Day Maharajah” Mahal on my team. Why? It mainly comes down to two reasons. First off, Jinder’s rich, and these rooms don’t come for free. The one I went to wasn’t so bad; we ended up paying around 6 of your American dollars per head. Still, if Jinder’s got money, then he’s got money.

Secondly, Jinder’s got the Singh brothers by his side. They only really take orders from Mr. Mahal himself, so he’s got to be there. The rooms come with all sorts of puzzles and challenges, and let’s be honest, not everyone can be the brains of the group. So the brains should figure out what exactly needs to be done, tell Jinder, who will then tell the Singh brothers. Does the challenge require a Pascal’s triangle up to 64? Hey Jinder, could the Singh Brothers help out with that? Should two people dance the Biyelgee, the traditional Mongolian dance? Jinder, could the Singh brothers help out with that?

You will have to keep Jinder under control, though. If he gets angry or frustrated, it could be a problem. This is the same guy who lost two different matches because of his deep-seated hatred for Rob Gronkowski and American Football. It would be ideal if you kept him under close watch, and make sure all he does is boss the Singh brothers around.

Sami Zayn

Ahhyessir, Sami Zayn would be a real helpful guy in an escape room. You never know which solution is the right solution, so you’d need someone who could analyze all the different possibilities. Enter Sami Zayn.

As evidenced on his various backstage segments on both Raw and Smackdown, Zayn is an analytical guy, perhaps overly so. Still, if he has an idea, it’s generally worth listening to. Rewind to the six man tag team match before Money in the Bank. Styles and Nakamura listened to his advice, and their team won! Sami Zayn has some good ideas.

He is the type of guy to think of all the different possibilities. Are these numbers a code or coordinates? Are these letters an anagram or music notes? Is that the Alphabet song or Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star? As long as you have Zayn on your team, you don’t have to worry about missing out on a key clue that might be overlooked by lesser teams.

John Cena

Solving an escape room is challenging. It can be disheartening. Maybe you’re solving the puzzles all wrong. Heck, maybe you can’t even find the puzzles. You really feel like throwing in the towel.

John Cena will not let you do that. He will tell you to Never Give Up™ just because the room’s a bit difficult. He’d also tell you to Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect™ the escape room that you find yourself in. You’ve got to hustle and move quickly to solve the puzzles, and you’ve got to show loyalty to your team by sticking with them, and you’ve sure as hell got to respect your team, and respect yourself. You’ve also got to respect the room by never giving up and attempting to win. By showing respect, you show effort. Something like that.

Bray Wyatt

Teleportation powers. Nothing more needs to be said.

What Happened After Tuesday’s SmackDown Live

After Tuesday’s episode of SmackDown & 205 Live went off the air in Dayton, Ohio, Randy Orton was in action against WWE Champion Jinder Mahal. This match has been done several times over the past month and much like previous bouts it ended in DQ with interference from The Singh Brothers.

Before the match took place, The Singh Brothers cut a heel promo and announced that the match would be non-title. This promo was said to be pretty decent.

New Match Added to Money in the Bank

WWE has announced that Zack Ryder will team with Mojo Rawley to take on Primo and Epico at Sunday’s Money in the Bank event in the kickoff pre-show. Here is the updated card:

WWE Title match
Jinder Mahal (c) (with The Singh Brothers) vs. Randy Orton

MITB ladder match
Kevin Owens vs. AJ Styles vs. Baron Corbin vs. Sami Zayn vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Smackdown tag team titles match 
The Usos (Jey Uso and Jimmy Uso) (c) vs. The New Day (Big E, Kofi Kingston, and/or Xavier Woods)

Women’s MITB ladder match 
Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Natalya vs. Tamina vs. Carmella (with James Ellsworth)

Smackdown Women’s title match 
Naomi (c) vs. Lana

Kickoff match 
Zack Ryder and Mojo Rawley vs. Primo and Epico

The Taz Show Recap – Smackdown Analysis, Defending Roman Reigns, Lana Readying for A Title Run, More!

Blocks 1 & 2:

Taz says that he didn’t think last night’s episode of Smackdown Live was very good for a ‘go-home’ show. It was an average show at best, but it should have been more given that it was the last show before Money in the Bank this coming Sunday.

Taz says that he liked the ladder match tease which ended the show, where Nakamura reached up and grabbed the briefcase. He thought this did a good job of promoting the ladder match and driving people to the PPV this Sunday, but this was the only part of the show to do so.

He didn’t like that during Jinder Mahal’s promo, The Singh Brothers were also standing on the area rug along with Mahal. He believes that mat should be solely for Mahal, and if he was the only person who was allowed to stand on it, it would seem far more important. He liked Randy Orton’s RKO out of nowhere, and he thought that spot was very well executed by the talent and captured perfectly by the cameraman.

Taz thought the 8-man tag team match between The Usos/Colons & Breezango/New Day was pretty entertaining. He adds that WWE is giving their viewers a lot of Breezango lately with in-ring matches as well as the Fashion File segments, and he urges them to be careful as to not over-expose the emerging team.

Planned Title Match Nixed from SmackDown Live Next Week

WWE had originally planned to have Jinder Mahal defend his WWE Title against Randy Orton on the June 13th SmackDown Live event, but those plans have been nixed.

While the match is still being advertised locally, it will now be only be a dark match at next week’s show and will not take place during the broadcast. They have been doing this match up as a dark match at recent SmackDown tapings. The match would normally end by DQ with interference from The Singh Brothers.

What Happened After SmackDown Live with Randy Orton?

After Tuesday’s episode of SmackDown Live and 205 Live went off the air, Randy Orton faced WWE champion Jinder Mahal in the dark match main event. Orton defeated Mahal via disqualification after The Singh Brothers interfered. After the DQ, Orton RKOd both Singh Brothers and then celebrated.